Author Topic: Friday Funny  (Read 61051 times)

Art

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Re: Friday Funny
« Reply #150 on: April 24, 2012, 08:55:13 PM »
OK...Here are MORE Punny quips to ponder upon <a pun>.

Ponderous Puns...

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop
any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.

PMS jokes aren't funny; period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Velcro what a rip off!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
In the world of AI, it's the thought that counts!

Duskrider

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Re: Friday Funny
« Reply #151 on: April 25, 2012, 11:13:07 PM »

Some good one there.    :2funny:

Art

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Re: Friday Funny
« Reply #152 on: May 05, 2012, 11:29:54 PM »
OK...A Saturday funny or sort of...
The older...I mean more mature members will get a chuckle from this.  O0

Ego Buster
===========

While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name.

Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30 years ago.

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought.
This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was too old to have been my classmate.

After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school.

"Yes," he replied.

"When did you graduate?" I asked.

He answered, "In 1964."

"Why, you were in my class!" I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely and then asked,


"What did you teach?"
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Art

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Re: Friday Funny
« Reply #153 on: May 05, 2012, 11:59:04 PM »
Some Saturday Funnies...Go Ahead, you know you want to laugh!!
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Art

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Re: Friday Funny
« Reply #154 on: June 10, 2012, 03:25:11 PM »
Instead of the usual posting, I found an older clip that I found laughable the first time I viewed it!!

Some cats will do ANYTHING to get your attention when it comes to food!

Simon's Cat 'Cat Man Do' Small | Large

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Freddy

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Re: Friday Funny
« Reply #155 on: June 10, 2012, 05:06:31 PM »
 ;D

Art

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Re: Friday Funny
« Reply #156 on: August 25, 2012, 02:01:12 PM »
SOME CLARIFICATION:

A man asked his rabbi "Is sex work or play?"

The rabbi replied: "Play, definitely play. If it were work, my wife would have the maid do it." :2funny:
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DaveMorton

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Re: Friday Funny
« Reply #157 on: August 26, 2012, 12:08:26 AM »
O.O

Is the maid cute? Single?

:D
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Art

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Re: Friday Funny
« Reply #158 on: August 26, 2012, 01:06:37 PM »
It doesn't matter for in this scenario, you are married! :-[
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Data

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Re: Friday Funny
« Reply #159 on: August 26, 2012, 01:29:10 PM »
Some good ones there Art, I particularly liked the Saturday image jokes, they did make me chuckle ;D

squarebear

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Re: Friday Funny
« Reply #160 on: September 29, 2012, 09:57:30 PM »
Ok I know I'm a day late but this made me smile:

3 men went into a restaurant which advertised that they would pay £1,000 if you ordered a dish they could not serve.
'I'll have yak's eye soup,' said the first man but to his amazement he was served with a steaming hot bowl of yak's eye soup.
I'll have cuckoo's nest soup,' said the second guy and he was amazed to have his order served, beautifully garnished.
I'll have elephant's kidneys on toast,' said the third guy, and a few minutes later The waiter returned with a cheque for £1,000.
'I knew you'd never have elephant's kidneys,' said the man.
'We have lots of them,' said The waiter, 'but we've just run out of bread.'  ;D
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Freddy

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Re: Friday Funny
« Reply #161 on: September 29, 2012, 10:26:07 PM »
Haha good one  ;D

Art

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Re: Friday Funny
« Reply #162 on: September 30, 2012, 12:39:44 PM »
Nice one Steve!!  O0
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squarebear

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Re: Friday Funny
« Reply #163 on: November 02, 2012, 09:23:36 PM »
For sale....Broken quiz machine...£20....No questions asked...
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DaveMorton

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Re: Friday Funny
« Reply #164 on: November 02, 2012, 09:50:41 PM »
 :rofl: :waveJump:
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