[photostill]

One day Boudroux and Tibidoux both got a call from the Coroner. He wanted them to come down and see if they could identify the body that was in a house fire. Since the house that burned belonged to a good friend of theirs, Billy Bob.

Boudroux came in, looked at the body and said, "Boy that's one burned up fella. Can't tell what color he's supposed to be. How about rolling him over?"

The coroner looks at Boudroux sort of oddly but complies. Boudroux looks for a minute and says, "Nope, that ain't Billy Bob." At which point he leaves.

A little later, Tibidoux shows up. He goes in, looks at the corpse and says, "Geeze whoever that is got burned really bad. Sort of looks like a used match stick. Can't tell much about whoever it is. How about rolling him over?"

Again the Coroner gives that odd look but complies. Tibidoux looks for a minute and says, "Nope, that ain't Billy Bob."

So the Coroner puts the sheet back and slides the cadavar back into it's holding place. He then turns to Tibidoux and asked why he had to see the back side.

Tibidoux answers, that every one knew Billy Bob had two a$$holes. He said that every time they came to town, the towns folk would say, "Here comes Billy Bob with those two a$$holes".

[Art]

 

[Freddy]

Good one 

[Data]

HeHe 

[Duskrider]

The Irishman & The Mormon

A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London.

After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.

The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink.

He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."

The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice.."

[Freddy]

Haha 

[Art]

 
Great one, Dusky!!! Love it!!

[squarebear]

lol very good. 

[Art]

OK...It's FRIDAY and time for some FUNNIES!!!

########################################

The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment. 
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up..'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
############################################

WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day.
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'
##############################################

[DaveMorton]

Angry customer: Waiter! There's a hare in my soup!

Waiter: Yes, Sir. You ordered the Hassenpfeffer.

Best I could do, sorry... 

[Freddy]

  Good ones !

[Duskrider]

This one is for last Friday.   
A married couple is traveling by car from Victoria to Prince George , BC .
Being Seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to
continue, and decided to take a room.  But, they only planned to sleep for four
hours and then get back on the road. When they checked out four hours later, the
desk clerk handed them a bill for $350.00.   

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high.  He told the
clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.00 for
four hours. Then the clerk tells him that $350.00 is the 'standard rate'.  The
man insisted on speaking to the Manager.  The Manager appears, listens to him,
and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference
center that were available for them to use.  'But we didn't use them," the
husband said.

''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.  The Manager
went on to explain that the couple could also have taken in one of the shows for
which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from New York ,
Hollywood , and Las Vegas perform here," he says.

"But we didn't go to any of those shows," the husband said.

"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, the husband replied, "But we
didn't use it!"

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the husband gave up and agreed to pay. As
he didn't have the check book he asked his wife to write the check. She did and
gave it to the Manager.

The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. "But ma'am, this is only
made out for $50.00."

''That's correct. I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.

"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.

"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."

Don't mess with senior citizens. They didn't get there by being stupid!   

[Freddy]

Hehe 

[Duskrider]

THE  PORCH

A young blond girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the porch" he said. "How much will you charge me?"
Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and brushes and everything she would need were in the garage.

The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"

"That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" he responded.

The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes."

A few hours later the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already??" the startled husband asked.

"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I even had paint left over so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her along with a $10 tip.

"Thank you," the blonde said, "And, by the way, it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."

[GT40]