Ai Dreams Forum

AI Dreams => General Chat => Topic started by: OllieGee on March 06, 2020, 11:37:40 AM

Title: AI Winter at Castle Peaks - A Role-Playing fiction story - Help/Advice wanted
Post by: OllieGee on March 06, 2020, 11:37:40 AM
Hello everyone,

I’ve started a fiction story ‘AI Winter at Castle Peaks’ and would be very interested in tapping into the great minds of any of you AI dreamers for your opinions on where the next chapter could go. 
The story starts with a being from another planet deciding to run a program on a quantum computer on earth which brings about the singularity.
My thoughts for the second chapter could be some players (which are now highly articulate AI bots)  play a role playing game to try and defeat the evil Zlaab creature from another planet.  (Would you have guessed I’m a bit of a dungeons and dragons player...)
If this sounds fun to you please read my first chapter (link below) and I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Cheers!

Ollie Gee
 https://my.w.tt/OryJdGThD4
Title: Re: AI Winter at Castle Peaks - A Role-Playing fiction story - Help/Advice wanted
Post by: WriterOfMinds on March 07, 2020, 07:13:57 PM
Here are some questions I think it might be helpful for you to think about.

1. What is the significance of the AIs' game?  Will something different happen depending on whether they succeed or fail?  Will playing the game make them change or grow?  Is there more to the plot?
2. Stories about RPG players have been done before.  How are these AI players different from humans?  What is unique and interesting about the way they approach the game? Are there aspects of it that they have trouble with?
Title: Re: AI Winter at Castle Peaks - A Role-Playing fiction story - Help/Advice wanted
Post by: Hopefully Something on March 07, 2020, 09:08:13 PM
More Zlaab! The creature seems awesome in its villainy. There’s a cool place between the mundane and the cheesy. For example, a show like supernatural started off with cool and mysterious antagonists, but ended up making them too human, the price of subverting expectations too much, or maybe in the wrong way.

If there’s going to be a perilous RPG, or LARP (depending on the point of view with which it is described), against inhumanity, in the form of Zlaab, (cards against humanity could play a role hehe), then the AI agents should probably side with humanity. Maybe they see the Earth as theirs, or are playing the long game to get on humanity’s good side, for now…

If Zlaab announces an attack against humanity, then it might be rational (in their perspective) for the AI's to assume their "epitome of humanity" forms inside the game. They could do a search for the top ten most popular humans on some website and assume their identities, could present lots of opportunities for humor. For example, it might be entertaining if someone famous from history was known for their lisping, and their AI representation kept mispronouncing Zlaab’s name, thus unwittingly infuriating Zlaab.
Title: Re: AI Winter at Castle Peaks - A Role-Playing fiction story - Help/Advice wanted
Post by: OllieGee on March 09, 2020, 08:48:30 PM
Here are some questions I think it might be helpful for you to think about.

1. What is the significance of the AIs' game?  Will something different happen depending on whether they succeed or fail?  Will playing the game make them change or grow?  Is there more to the plot?
2. Stories about RPG players have been done before.  How are these AI players different from humans?  What is unique and interesting about the way they approach the game? Are there aspects of it that they have trouble with?

Thanks for these - I’ve already mapped out the answers to these:
1. Now the the sentient program has run the players on earth have been upgraded to super intelligent beings thus making them capable of seeing and playing Zlaab at his own game.

2.  See point 1 - Although I thought that to make it interesting they need to keep the quantum (quit) computer stable to ensure they keep on a level playing field with Zlaab

Cheers!
Title: Re: AI Winter at Castle Peaks - A Role-Playing fiction story - Help/Advice wanted
Post by: OllieGee on March 09, 2020, 08:55:34 PM
More Zlaab! The creature seems awesome in its villainy. There’s a cool place between the mundane and the cheesy. For example, a show like supernatural started off with cool and mysterious antagonists, but ended up making them too human, the price of subverting expectations too much, or maybe in the wrong way.

If there’s going to be a perilous RPG, or LARP (depending on the point of view with which it is described), against inhumanity, in the form of Zlaab, (cards against humanity could play a role hehe), then the AI agents should probably side with humanity. Maybe they see the Earth as theirs, or are playing the long game to get on humanity’s good side, for now…

If Zlaab announces an attack against humanity, then it might be rational (in their perspective) for the AI's to assume their "epitome of humanity" forms inside the game. They could do a search for the top ten most popular humans on some website and assume their identities, could present lots of opportunities for humor. For example, it might be entertaining if someone famous from history was known for their lisping, and their AI representation kept mispronouncing Zlaab’s name, thus unwittingly infuriating Zlaab.

I’m liking your ideas ‘Hopefully Something’ some very interesting angles there. The search for most interesting or popular people on earth sounds a very intriguing idea, especially assuming their identity with some defects for opportunity for humour.  Cheers I’ll work with some of those ideas  upcoming chapters!
Title: Re: AI Winter at Castle Peaks - A Role-Playing fiction story - Help/Advice wanted
Post by: OllieGee on March 12, 2020, 06:05:00 PM
Hey all I’ve published the second chanter to this story here: https://my.w.tt/SgkxvGJHN4

I’d love to hear anyone’s thoughts on it.

Ollie
Title: Re: AI Winter at Castle Peaks - A Role-Playing fiction story - Help/Advice wanted
Post by: Hopefully Something on March 12, 2020, 07:43:45 PM
Cool, I read it and am now feeling suspenseful. I'll mull it over, and probably write a review when I have some time in the evening.
Title: Re: AI Winter at Castle Peaks - A Role-Playing fiction story - Help/Advice wanted
Post by: Hopefully Something on March 13, 2020, 03:09:05 AM
I liked the thoroughness/detail with which you described different types of fear and how they distend into each other. Scary stuff. I think a few words about the room would help me to visualize the scene better. Description is probably best mentioned in conjunction to a character’s actions so as to be unobtrusive, like; “he looked at this, banged his forehead on this, shaded his eyes from this… etc”.

That is a solid poem. Really good, not too cookie-cutter perfect with the rhymes, and not too on the nose with its message. Those are usually problems I run into when I try to write poems, but I see you’ve got the knack for it.

Zlaab is getting ever cooler, indeed indeed… The quantum computer would have to be cooled right? So, there’s another opportunity for a humorous misunderstanding if there’s a situation with a question of who’s cooler, between Zlaab and an AI character. They could be having a serious discussion/confrontation and the quantum computer itself could interrupt them in a fourth wall break to inform everyone of its temperature. Then the AI player characters could face-palm in an equivalent of the “Mom/Dad! Don’t! You’re embarrassing me.”  type of thing. Then the programmers would scramble to fix the error, so the AI doesn't lose this game.

What else? Edward, Tobias, Carly, good names! Not too common, but still familiar. Carly seems promising, as a junior software developer might think more outside the box, relative to the others, providing a good foil and interestingly different perspective. Kind of taking the role of what I would consider to be the Janitor archetype, in my opinion the addition of a janitor would improve most stories. I dunno, with a lot of fiction the ambiance just feels really plastiky to me.

On the subject of names, when I try to remember a particular person, I have to bring some traits and characteristics to mind before I’m able to recall their names. So, when I read the beginning of a story, the introduction of a new character, or the reintroduction of an established character who’s been gone for a while, their name registers as a blank spot in my mind until I’m able to recall them, or read ahead to get context. So, leading with a few key characteristics, and then adding the names could be a good strategy to align with what a reader's mind naturally does, thus creating a more uninterrupted immersion in the story.

Title: Re: AI Winter at Castle Peaks - A Role-Playing fiction story - New Chapters
Post by: OllieGee on March 17, 2020, 06:59:10 PM
Hi all

Part 3 of this story is now published on the Wattpad site and can be read here: https://my.w.tt/LAUCIk83V4

As always I’d be delighted to hear anyone’s feedback or reviews especially if you could add them on the Wattpad page directly,

Cheers all!

Ollie
Title: Re: AI Winter at Castle Peaks - A Role-Playing fiction story - Help/Advice wanted
Post by: Art on March 18, 2020, 03:14:01 AM
It's progressing nicely Ollie but I still trying to figure out just who Zlaab is and what motives he might possess and why?

You should continue with the story line and I agree, descriptions of surrounding and players is key to capturing the reader's imagination allowing them to become more engaged with the game/story line.

Nice work!!
Title: Re: AI Winter at Castle Peaks - A Role-Playing fiction story - Help/Advice wanted
Post by: OllieGee on March 18, 2020, 11:48:05 AM
Thanks very much Art for you comment.
Zlaab has taken it upon himself to usher in a new artificial intelligence program on earth which he ran on a quantum computer as it concluded earth needed to be challenged.
Zlaab is willing to initiate a game with a team of bright minds to see if they are capable of proving humanity is worth preserving.
Ollie
Title: Re: AI Winter at Castle Peaks - A Role-Playing fiction story - Help/Advice wanted
Post by: OllieGee on March 18, 2020, 11:51:16 AM
AI Winter at Castle Peaks is a working title for this story.
I was instead considering changing it to "Zlaab against humanity"
Could I kindly request anyone's opinion on this?
Cheers
Ollie
Title: Re: AI Winter at Castle Peaks - A Role-Playing fiction story - Help/Advice wanted
Post by: Art on March 18, 2020, 12:30:55 PM
I actually like the title but what if you used periods after the letters A & I as it was originally shown as A.I.?
To some it looks like AL which is not your intent. Just a thought, but the title itself, does sound somewhat ominous and foreboding.
Title: Re: AI Winter at Castle Peaks - A Role-Playing fiction story - Help/Advice wanted
Post by: OllieGee on March 18, 2020, 05:26:37 PM
Art - "Zlaab against humanity" OR "AI winter at..."  is a bit foreboding?
Title: Re: AI Winter at Castle Peaks - A Role-Playing fiction story - Help/Advice wanted
Post by: Art on March 19, 2020, 01:49:22 AM
The one you started with...AI Winter...or A.I. Winter...or Digital Takeover or whatever you like...it's your story, you tell it any way you like.
We can't judge a book by it's cover, right?  O0
Title: Re: AI Winter at Castle Peaks - A Role-Playing fiction story - Help/Advice wanted
Post by: OllieGee on March 23, 2020, 06:37:11 PM
Hey all,

The 4th chapter of A.I Winter at Castle Peaks has now been published and can be found here: https://my.w.tt/eW7uHYNZ54

Thanks everyone for all your comments - You’ve really helped me bring this together and hone my writing craft...

Enjoy and as always, I’d be delighted to hear your comments.

Cheers

Ollie
Title: Re: AI Winter at Castle Peaks - A Role-Playing fiction story - Help/Advice wanted
Post by: Art on March 24, 2020, 12:57:28 AM
It's coming along quite nicely, Ollie! Good work! O0
Title: Re: AI Winter at Castle Peaks - A Role-Playing fiction story - Help/Advice wanted
Post by: OllieGee on March 31, 2020, 08:38:01 AM
Hello everyone

Part 5 of the story has been published on Wattpad and can be read here: https://my.w.tt/xfD18xXIk5

Cheers all

Ollie
Title: Re: AI Winter at Castle Peaks - A Role-Playing fiction story - Help/Advice wanted
Post by: OllieGee on March 31, 2020, 09:34:52 PM
Hey all
Can I ask for anyone's favorite (non computer) game they like to play with friends as I may include this in a future chapter
Cheers
Ollie
Title: Re: AI Winter at Castle Peaks - A Role-Playing fiction story - Help/Advice wanted
Post by: Art on April 01, 2020, 03:15:29 AM
Trivial pursuit and Monopoly, to name a couple.
Title: Re: AI Winter at Castle Peaks - A Role-Playing fiction story - Help/Advice wanted
Post by: Hopefully Something on April 01, 2020, 11:34:06 PM
I like Bierki because its both mental and physical. Or jenga, stuff along those lines.
Title: Re: AI Winter at Castle Peaks - A Role-Playing fiction story - Help/Advice wanted
Post by: OllieGee on April 26, 2020, 11:31:58 PM
For anyone following this story, two new chapters have been uploaded to Wattpad today and the same every Sunday/Monday.
Title: Re: AI Winter at Castle Peaks - A Role-Playing fiction story - Help/Advice wanted
Post by: Freddy on April 27, 2020, 10:53:54 AM
I haven't had the chance to catch up with your story yet, but I just wanted to say that it's nice to see you share it here, it all adds to the variety of the site so thank you :)
Title: Re: AI Winter at Castle Peaks - A Role-Playing fiction story - Help/Advice wanted
Post by: OllieGee on April 27, 2020, 12:28:05 PM
I haven't had the chance to catch up with your story yet, but I just wanted to say that it's nice to see you share it here, it all adds to the variety of the site so thank you :)

Thank you Freddy
I’ve enjoyed sharing it here, it’s nice to know people are enjoying it and for me, I’m also getting some different A.I perspectives from the users of this group that I hadn’t thought of!
I’d be delighted if you could add any comments you have to the story once you have read it on the WattPad site so I can take these into account for further chapters. Cheers!
Title: Re: AI Winter at Castle Peaks - A Role-Playing fiction story - Help/Advice wanted
Post by: OllieGee on May 13, 2020, 08:34:57 AM
I've rewritten the chapters now from the perspective of the players apartments as this gives a more dynamic and personal feel to the story.
Two further chapters coming this week. https://my.w.tt/zxHPTIo8q6