Post your jokes here

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Maviarab

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Re: Post your jokes here
« Reply #60 on: June 25, 2006, 12:21:53 pm »
 :rofl Classic Dusky hehe

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Maviarab

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Re: Post your jokes here
« Reply #61 on: June 27, 2006, 06:42:35 pm »
One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behaviour that was going on.
So God called one of the angels and sent the angel to Earth. When she returned, she told God,
"Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not." God thought for a moment
and said, "Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion." So God
called another angel and sent him to earth for a time too. When the angel returned he went to
God and said, "Yes, it's true The earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being
good." God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5% who were being good,  because
he wanted to encourage them...give them a little something to help them keep going.

Do you know what the e-mail said?
 
 

Okay, just wondering; I didn't get one either.

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Art

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Re: Post your jokes here
« Reply #62 on: June 27, 2006, 08:17:42 pm »
A friend of mine just returned from vacation at a really nice resort.

I asked him how it was and he said, "It was great! Everything was
top notch. In fact, the towels were so fluffy that I could hardly get
my suitcase closed!"

 :knuppel2
In the world of AI, it's the thought that counts!

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FuzzieDice

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Re: Post your jokes here
« Reply #63 on: June 28, 2006, 08:05:10 am »
How does a Honda 600 Coupe get up a hill?

It doesn't. You have to get out and push it. :)

For those that don't know, google for images of the Honda 600. My dad had one. It's a 36 hp 2-popper. He named his "Rollerskate".

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Duskrider

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Re: Post your jokes here
« Reply #64 on: July 06, 2006, 01:00:04 pm »

Clever Quips

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself , "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin."
-- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."
-- Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
- Mark Twain

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
-- George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
-- Victor Borge

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
-- Mark Twain 

By a ll mea ns, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
-- Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
-- Jimmy Durante

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
-- Alex Levine

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

Money can't buy you happiness .. but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
-- Spike Milligan

I am opposed to millionaires... but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
-- Mark Twain

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.
-- Joe Namath

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
-- Bob Hope

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
-- W. C. Fields

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
-- Will Rogers

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. . as you grow older, it will avoid you.
-- Winston Churchill

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty ... but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
-- Phyllis Diller

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
-- Billy Crystal

 :rolleyes

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Freddy

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Re: Post your jokes here
« Reply #65 on: July 06, 2006, 10:30:46 pm »
good stuff   :grin

Liked Spike especially and Billy Crystal.

 


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