[Tyler]

Is it Christmas?
2 December 2019, 5:00 am



Source: xkcd.com

[Korrelan]

I think I’ve mentioned this before but…

About ten years ago I called a family meeting, everyone turned up (40 odd) and then I declared what a total load of bo**ocks christmas is, how I was sick of it and thought the adults ought to stop buying presents for each other, kids still get them of course.

Every one agreed, now we just meet up for a drink and show the decent present we have treated ourselves to… I stopped them all birthday buying whilst I was at it.

It saves a small fortune on both money and stress… bliss.

 

[Freddy]

I don't recall you mentioning it.

What we tend to do is ask if there are a few things they would like and then just get a couple. I don't mind it myself, but it can be a pain trying to find something I agree.

[LOCKSUIT]

I'm with korrelan, its efficient for sure, and yuo both give each other it back - it's totally useless.

[WriterOfMinds]

You should do what functions best for you and the people in your life.  Personally, I think Christmas is great.  My adult friends and I voluntarily started giving gifts to each other a few years after we all got out of college.  Often, somebody will buy a video game for themselves and everyone else in the group ... sometimes that gets you bulk discounts, and it automatically solves the problem of "we can't play this together because not everyone owns a copy."  Those of us who like to work with our hands sometimes make things for the others.

... and yuo both give each other it back - it's totally useless.

It's ritualized interdependency.  Gift exchange gets everyone thinking about someone else's needs instead of his own, and reinforces the idea that you're all a family/friend-group/team/society rather than a bunch of singletons.  It's also a method of expressing affection; as such, it becomes a means of communication and a way to satisfy emotional urges.  Objects made or given by friends have a different meaning than objects purchased by me, regardless of their practical value.

Of course, if there is no actual affection or interdependency powering it, the ritual feels like an empty sham. And some people find that different rituals or communication methods work better for them than gifts do.

[Freddy]

Yes that's nice WoM

In the past I too have bought games for people at Christmas so we could all play.

[LOCKSUIT]

Most don't have crippled hands tho...
Each organism has to focus on themselves only, and their kids. It's Darwinian survival.
What can you give me that I cannot. Cash? But I'm giving them that too. And I own my pc already. :-)
You're expecting someone to give you a gift but its based on what you know you want...
Angels exist but most don't give their cash away, only a quick help if need hand.

[LOCKSUIT]

Christmas and birthdays and God and lucky charms are just a way to get together and commun, and make Fake Happy Pills.

Humans hate death and love their species faces. They can solve near death problems. They think too high of themselves leading to wanting to be never wrong, grace, glory, self worship, awareness, consciousness, spirits, God to fix things for free, luck, its all the same thing, fake pills.

[Freddy]

Most don't have crippled hands tho...

That's a curved ball!

Each organism has to focus on themselves only, and their kids. It's Darwinian survival.
What can you give me that I cannot. Other than your body. Cash? But I'm giving u that too. And I own my pc already. :-)

Well you ask for our opinion a lot and we are happy to give it! It's not just about family it's about the people you meet through life too.

Christmas and birthdays and God and lucky charms are just a way to get together and commun, and make Fake Happy Pills.

Note to self: do not invite Lock to any parties

[Korrelan]

Bah... Humbug... I always found a lump of coal in my clogs xmas morning... hehe... lol

 

I was brought up in a traditional middle class British family so I have very fond memories of xmas.  That's why I would always make sure the kids get their fantasy... it;s important.  I do feel the overall feeling has got lost somewhere, perhaps it's just me ageing... and everyone complains about the commercialism, and I really do wish someone would write some new xmas songs... if I hear Slade one more time I'm going to...

Order your new sofa now, guaranteed to be delivered before xmax.  That sales tactic must work, otherwise they wouldn't spend the money on advertising every year... so there are families out there who buy a new sofa every xmas? Go figure.

OMG! I really am grumpy lol.

 

[HS]

Luxury...  The majority of my family, family friends, long lost neighbors etc, live in Europe. So I have a week or two of being dragged through a dozen get-togethers with relative-strangers, all asking the same handful of personal questions, in a couple languages I've half forgotten. This is all book-ended by a couple of twenty hour plane trips with a six year old who is mastering the dark arts of chaos and peacelessness. I get that everyone involved means well... but I can sure imagine more relaxing scenarios. The sense of wonder and mystery are but faint memories of a bygone age... A good Christmas for me might involve ordering large amounts of pizza, watching the extended Lord of the Rings, then tinkering with AI in the evenings. Also audio books are good, coupled with long walks through beautiful snowy landscapes with my canine friend, hell yeah! Some people are more extroverted than that, and want to party 24/7, no problem, lets split up. Everyone should be able to choose their preferred version of holidays, otherwise it kills the point.

[LOCKSUIT]

We can and do share ideas and bodies and tools that spread and become common-knowledge/appliance/body (body?), but otherwise I don't see why I wouldn't buy my own gifts I know I seek.

[Korrelan]

@HS

That does sound stressful, so when I see images on the news of the travel chaos at world airports over the holiday period your're probably in there somewhere lol  Once the child gets older he is probably going to want to spend his xmas with his friends/ girlfriend so that might appease the yearly exodus.  Send them a pad  and 'facetime' them all lol.

@Lock

It always seemed like madness to me, everyone was spending <£1000 on buying presents for everyone else, stressing about what to get them and finding the time to do the shopping, etc. We would each end up with a pile of 'stuff' that we didn't really want/ need. So now we each spend the money on something for ourselves... meet up for a drink in a decent pub, have a good long session/ chat... it's brought the social aspect to the fore and everyone always says how they can enjoy xmas more without the stress.  Every one is happy, and they each actually have something  for xmas that makes them happy.

 

Prior to present birthday/ xmas thing, 20 years ago I suggested we all stop visiting/ cold calling on each other.  That we all meet up once every three weeks in a pub and have a chat. If you can make it fine, if you can't we will see you next time. Also each 'household' throws a BBQ once a year, that fits into the three week schedule.  I've got my lot sorted out lol.

 

[Freddy]

A good Christmas for me might involve ordering large amounts of pizza, watching the extended Lord of the Rings, then tinkering with AI in the evenings. Also audio books are good, coupled with long walks through beautiful snowy landscapes with my canine friend, hell yeah!

Sounds like my perfect Christmas too. I have the regular LorR movies but I may pick up the extended for this year. I have various audio books to listen to as well, I find I can't sit down for a long time and read like I used to.

[Freddy]

@Korrelan,

I don't think you are being grumpy really. These days Christmas seems to start in mid November. I never felt very Christmassy until nearer the time. But this year and last we visited some Christmas fayres and I really enjoyed it - it's just nice to get together. We don't have to travel as far as you HS though. Also the mulled wine was appreciated 

I found the sales advantageous this year more than others. Not for presents but for things for my new project. Spending thousands on presents does seem a bit wild, we spend nowhere near that much!

Christmas day meal is a high point too of course